Potty Habits of the Ancients

To those of you who have had a ridicuous amount of snow this year, 50 degrees F. probably sounds good enough to put on a bathing suit and yell for a shirtless hula boy to bring you a drink with a paper umbrella in it. But you'd be surprised how damn cold 50 degrees F. is when your jeans are down around your ankles.

Our employer does not believe in heating the ladies' room. We are not enriching the shareholders while we are having a bathroom break, so we cannot enjoy heat during the interlude. I guess they figure it will get us out of there sooner. It works. We avoid the detested trip and wait for the earth to warm naturally as the sun climbs higher in the sky, thus improving conditions in the ladies' room.

My heart goes out to the ancient Native Americans, the Vikings, Druids, and other ancient people who probably did not enjoy heated facilities. Imagine waking up at 3:00 a.m. on a January night in 200 B.C and it's 2 degrees F., snowing big time, and there are wild animals roaming around. Even much more recently, how did the early settlers manage it? The little room with the little half-moon on the door was not heated at any time of the day. How did they manage?

The ancient Romans had public toilets with running water. I saw that on the Discovery channel, or maybe it was National Geographic or the History channel.

The ancient Japanese had some sort of sophisticated setup also. Shogun, the book. The miniseries glossed over that. Anyway, I think it was outside and it gets pretty cold over there. The ladies' room and mens' room was one and the same, kind of like the youth hostels in Holland. One sure-fire recipe for constipation.

The Essenes, who lived about the time that BC changed to AD, had their toilet rituals perscribed for them and written down. There was no mention of any facilities, just something about using a stick to dig a hole in the ground, and digging holes before the sabbath so they'd be ready and not require digging on the Sabbath. That's from Flavius Josephus, ancient Jewish historian. He was blogging without a computer at about that time.

So our situation in the ladies room is not much better than theirs, weather-wise. But whatever possessed the folks in Africa 100,000 years ago to leave that nice warm weather and go to Europe before the onset of heated restrooms is beyond me.

Neighbors

When we moved into a new neighborhood, I met Karrie, the only other American in the neighborhood. Her son was two like my daughter, and Karrie, like me, was pregnant. We started hanging out.

My second daughter was born, and my oldest daughter's two year birthday was approaching, so I was glad to have a friend to invite to celebrate. As I had my hands full with a one month old baby, it would be small and simple. I baked a cake, bought a few little prizes for Karrie's son and my daughter, and decorated the living room with balloons and streamers. The time came but Karrie didn't. After waiting a bit, we went over to her building to see if she was ok, and a neighbor told us she had gone to the hospital that night to have her baby.

On the way back, I saw four or five Ethiopian children playing on the grass and recognized one, a girl of about nine, who lived in our building. I invited them to come have some cake and ice cream. This was before you didn't do that. They were happy to join us and were playing and having a good time when I noticed that the nine year old girl wasn't with them. I found her in the kitchen, straightening up and doing dishes. I told her I'd do them later and asked why she didn't join the younger kids. She said "no, you have your hands full enough, you rest a bit, I can do these." It amazed me that such a young girl would have that kind of insight.

But as I got to know my neighbors better, their helpfulness and quiet ways became aparent. There was no elevator, and as I'd be going up the stairs with the baby in one arm and groceries or the stroller in the other, I'd suddenly feel someone gently taking the stroller or groceries or my older daughter's hand and carrying them up to our door.

Karrie saw things differently. These neighbors were refugees, they didn't take care of the building, their kids were left unsupervised, etc. I can't say this wasn't true. Karrie told me how she had stood blocking the stairs to prevent them from bringing chickens into the building.

But I guess it's how you look at things: They couldn't understand that, as Karrie brought a dog and cat into her apartment.