Neighbors

When we moved into a new neighborhood, I met Karrie, the only other American in the neighborhood. Her son was two like my daughter, and Karrie, like me, was pregnant. We started hanging out.

My second daughter was born, and my oldest daughter's two year birthday was approaching, so I was glad to have a friend to invite to celebrate. As I had my hands full with a one month old baby, it would be small and simple. I baked a cake, bought a few little prizes for Karrie's son and my daughter, and decorated the living room with balloons and streamers. The time came but Karrie didn't. After waiting a bit, we went over to her building to see if she was ok, and a neighbor told us she had gone to the hospital that night to have her baby.

On the way back, I saw four or five Ethiopian children playing on the grass and recognized one, a girl of about nine, who lived in our building. I invited them to come have some cake and ice cream. This was before you didn't do that. They were happy to join us and were playing and having a good time when I noticed that the nine year old girl wasn't with them. I found her in the kitchen, straightening up and doing dishes. I told her I'd do them later and asked why she didn't join the younger kids. She said "no, you have your hands full enough, you rest a bit, I can do these." It amazed me that such a young girl would have that kind of insight.

But as I got to know my neighbors better, their helpfulness and quiet ways became aparent. There was no elevator, and as I'd be going up the stairs with the baby in one arm and groceries or the stroller in the other, I'd suddenly feel someone gently taking the stroller or groceries or my older daughter's hand and carrying them up to our door.

Karrie saw things differently. These neighbors were refugees, they didn't take care of the building, their kids were left unsupervised, etc. I can't say this wasn't true. Karrie told me how she had stood blocking the stairs to prevent them from bringing chickens into the building.

But I guess it's how you look at things: They couldn't understand that, as Karrie brought a dog and cat into her apartment.