This is going to sound perverted, but here goes:
We have a newish girl at work. She's a tiny teen, tottering about on 4 inch stilettos. Well, she has to be at least in her late 20's but she is tiny and comes to work looking perfect every day. Perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect body, and judging from her perfect position, she is intelligent, and she bakes perfect brownies. The type of person you want to drown in the toilet. But she promised to give us the recipe so we let her live.
One day when she teetered by while I was eating with my friends. I stopped in mid-sentence and just stared at her butt. No amount of exercise could give you that butt. Believe me, I tried.
My friends were all "Ora, what's up, what are you looking at, are you OK?" I couldn't believe it. Her perfect butt is the one I ordered when I was a fetus and the Power that Be was showing me the DIY Butt catalog. I know I chose that butt, I ordered it, it should have been mine!
How can one person get it all? Why am I not that one person? Maybe I was a person who kicked dogs in a previous life so I didn't deserve to get that butt. If that's how it works, she was surely Mother Theresa in her previous life.
Anyway, I'd get you a picture but there are security cameras all over and if they caught me running around with a camera, scrunching down to the level of her perfect butt and taking pictures, you know how that would go. Considering the economy, I don't want to risk it.
Of course my friends now refer to her behind her butt as "There Goes Ora's Butt". Yeah, rub it in.
But you have the security camera tapes. Just digitize them and upload to YouTube. Then your fellow humor bloggers will embed the videos in their blogs, and have all sorts of fun at her expense.
ReplyDeleteI never got the boobs I ordered, or I got just a partial shipment.
ReplyDeleteSue at least you got a partial shipment-- I got none of what I ordered.
ReplyDeleteOra, I think you should try with the camera anyway. If you get caught and canned (wink wink) and the butt is really that good you can probably sell the pic for millions and you won't need a job.
I'm with Tricia on this one. I think you should totally show the pics online...
ReplyDelete...uh, not that I'm a perv or anything. ;)
Wish I could, it's fit for framing.
ReplyDelete